IT'S MOVING TIME!

It's been decided. I will no longer post here, so everyone be prepared to change your bookmarks and/or favorites or whatever else it is that you use to read my blog. What to change it to? Why, my new blog address, of course. Different (and more appropriate) name, same content!





What's my new blog address? It's The Amateur Malcontent. See you there!


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A Move In Blog Land? (And Some Great News)

I've been thinking about a redesign or possible name change for my blog, and today I sat down and pounded one out (not that kind of pounding out, sickos!). Problem is, I don't know if I should stick with posting here, or make the move and start posting here (click to go to new site):



What do you guys think?


Also, Silver got adopted today! I am so happy, and I hope that her new family will take great care of her and give her all the attention she could dream of!

Another Good Reason To Be Your Own Boss

It was time for ToadWorks to get new business cards, and Ryan spent a few days trying to figure out some good titles for everyone. He told me Doug's and Nathan's (Nathan's the new kid working for them--poor guy), but he refused to tell me what he had chosen for himself. He said I'd just have to wait. This morning we picked up the cards and this is how they looked:

Poor Nathan! He had wistfully asked if he was going to get business cards, and this is what Ryan made for him. How is he ever going to be able to hand them out?? Doofus??

All I'm going to say is that Doug's going to have a hard time living up to his title...

This was Ryan's coup de grâce. When I pulled out his card and saw it for the first time, it was all I could do to keep myself from punching him. He cackled and started yelling stuff like "In your FACE! Ha! In your FACE! I'm UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME! I'm THE TOAD! I'm UNSTOPPABLE!"




(Yes, the type is messed up so Ryan has to go back and have them redo the cards.)

What Really Goes On In The ToadWorks Office

Even m&ms Are On His Side!

Ryan bought a giant bag of peanut m&ms from Costco the other day, and when he opened them up and started eating them, he found two that were fused together, which were shaped like--you guessed it--BALLS. Ryan was so happy with this discovery that he had me take a picture of them.

Of course Ryan was the one who came up with the placement for the photo.

He also insisted that I get a 'long shot' so you can see how happy he is.

And yes, it's even funnier that the m&ms happened to be blue.

After I did my duty and took these pictures, I picked them up, tossed them into my mouth and chewed them lustily.

Ha! I ate his balls!!

Introducing...The Wheel Of Death!

This morning was the FINAL STRAW!

I had just returned from a quick trip to JoAnns for some more size 2 needles so I could start on a new pair of socks (I already had a pair started on some size 2s). I was very very excited, and I cast on carefully for the first sock. Ryan was in the bathroom when I started, and we were in the middle of our morning coffee and watching some TV. I think I had just managed to join for the first row in the round when he came out and sat next to me on our sofa. He started up the latest Big Joe Polka show and I continued to concentrate carefully on knitting the first few rows properly.

If you have ever knit a pair of socks then you know that the worst part of making the sock is the casting on and the first few rows. First of all, you're casting on yarn onto 3 or 4 needles (if you're using DPNs) instead of just one needle, so there's pointy things jutting out everywhere and the yarn is really thin. Plus, you have to make sure that the yarn doesn't accidentally twist when you join it together, because if that happens, then you wind up knitting a damned möbius strip and not a sock. Also, depending on what kind of cast on you're using and the type of needles (bamboo or metal), the stitches can be pretty loose and slippery for a little while, until you've knit at least 4 rows. For me, it's the most nerve-wracking part of making a sock, and I'm always holding my breath until I can get past the first 2 or 3 rows--because if you make ONE MISTAKE during that crucial time, then it's all over.

Those of you who are knitters will FEEL MY PAIN after I tell you what happened to me this morning.

So.

I was just starting the 3rd round and Ryan and I were talking and joking around, and Ryan made the CRITICAL MISTAKE of SHOVING ME PLAYFULLY WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF KNITTING A STITCH!

Guess what happened. JUST GUESS!

THREE OF MY STITCHES FELL OFF THE NEEDLE AND WERE PULLED COMPLETELY OUT! I couldn't save them because the stitches had also been pulled all the way out of the loops. I HAD LOST TWO ENTIRE ROWS OF THREE STITCHES EACH, THE ONLY TWO ROWS I HAD KNIT!

It was all I could do to keep myself from jabbing him in the face immediately with my DPNs! I nearly gave myself an aneurysm trying to contain my rage. As I angrily shouted at Ryan about what he had done to my sock as I furiously yanked out the rest of my work and tossed it onto the table, he shrank back into the sofa and became apologetic. As my rage continued unabated, he began to giggle, which made me even angrier, as it was obvious to me that he was NOT TAKING MY PAIN SERIOUSLY! Nothing is so maddening as when your significant other refuses to acknowledge the pain that they have caused you! He apologized profusely, but it was clear that he didn't think it was a big deal even after I explained to him just how hard it was to start a sock!

While I sat and stewed, he actually had the nerve to start MOCKING ME!

When I asked him if he was going to behave, he responded like this!

He doesn't even care that I have to start over again, and is more concerned with amusing himself by DISRESPECTING ME AND MY KNITTING than he is with making the proper amends!!

And so, because Ryan is completely incapable of being sympathetic, what could I do? My only option was to create the Wheel Of Death, and place him squarely in the middle!



BEEEYOTCH!!!

Fragmented Friday

1)Tonight Ryan and I are going to have dinner at Catacombs. It amazes me that after nearly 7 years together that I still get excited about 'date night'. It hasn't been easy, these 7 years because we're both very difficult people to live with (two strong personalities=insanity), but I have to confess that despite everything (even his relentless obsession with his own balls) he is still the most interesting person I have ever met. In the very beginning when we first started talking to each other, after work was over (we worked at the same company) I would go into his office and just sit and listen to him talk and be in awe at the words that would come out of his mouth. I had never met anyone with so many opinions and who was educated so much about all kinds of random subjects. At the time I could sit for hours and just listen. After 7 years you think I would have already heard everything he has to say (and sometimes it seems like I have), but he'll always have a few surprises left in him and that's why I love him so much. And when you add great food and wine with atmosphere and good conversation, it's a date made in heaven.

2) My first knitaversary is coming up soon (Aug. 21, 2006 was the day I learned how to knit), and now that I've been knitting for a while I've come to realize that there are two kinds of knitters out there--the ones that knit for others, and the ones that knit for themselves. What made me really think about this was the fact that my best friend Rayleen, the one who taught me how to knit is the kind of knitter who knits for other people. In fact, I can't even think of something she's knit expressly for herself, except maybe a washcloth or something.

Me, I'm a selfish knitter. The first thing I think of when looking for a pattern I want to make is, "Do I like this?" "Would this look good on me and will I wear it?" All my sweater patterns that I've printed out are sweaters I would like to make for myself. All the sock patterns and bags and hats are things that I would wear or use. Sure, I've made the occasional gift for a baby or a family member, but for the most part my enthusiasm to knit is driven by what I want, not what I want to give to other people.

3) Some asshole ate my Hot Pockets that were sitting in the freezer at work*, so I had to go buy myself some lunch today. The good news is that I finally got to try out Jack in the Box's breakfast sandwiches. I am a huge fan of the Egg McMuffin, but seeing as Ryan has placed a ban on McDonalds** I know I won't be able to eat there any time soon. So I thank the Fast Food Gods for smiling upon me and getting Jack in the Box to carry their breakfast items 24/7 instead of being stingy and cutting me off at 10:30am like the rest of the industry. Anyway, I can happily report that their Supreme Croissant breakfast sandwich is pretty awesome. I was so flustered by being able to order breakfast any time I wanted that I forgot to order one of their hash browns (if it's one thing I love more than McDonalds' Egg McMuffin, it's their hashbrown patties) to compare to McDonalds' hash browns. I remember when Jack in the Box had really crappy food--I made the mistake of ordering their cheap tacos years ago, and it made me never want to eat there again. But slowly and surely they have upped the quality of their food and I have discovered that they make pretty good salads and ciabatta sandwiches. I'm not going to attach Jack's head to my car antennae any time soon, but I don't fear eating their food anymore. I am, however still extremely wary of their coupon for two free tacos that I got today with my order. Anyone want my coupon?









*Oh, I asked around, believe me! No one steals my food and escapes my wrath! I felt like bringing on my own personal Lunch Stealing Inquisition, but I held back. BUT I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, FELLOW COWORKERS!!

**He used to love Big Macs, but the last time he ate one (it was from the McDonalds on 3rd and Maple, too) he got really really sick. He's sworn off of McDonalds ever since. Not that I mind too much because the only thing I ever ordered was their Egg McMuffins and hash browns, but still.

She's Back To Her Old Self Again

Even though Jojo has her own ice cream in the freezer (from Cold Stone, thanks to her Daddy who spoils her rotten), she thinks it tastes better when she steals it from her Daddy;s bowl.

Just look at that tongue action! She's the Gene Simmons of kitties!

This Can Only Be Settled With A Steel Cage Match...

...where TWO books enter, but only ONE leaves victorious and in my hot little hands!

I know you guys are really tired of hearing me blather on about knitting, but come on! Hey, at least it's not stamp collecting! Seriously. If I ever start collecting stamps just pull the plug, okay?

Here's my problem. I already tried talking about this with Ryan this morning, but after I poured my heart out to him, he suggested a trip to a sanatorium--and to lick his balls*. So I'm trying to seek solace with someone who has a more sympathetic ear, and I'm hoping you all out there will at least keep any ball-licking suggestions to yourself.

Here's the problem. I have come to the point where I have decided to become a sock knitter. Now, I may or may not have said some snarky things about sock knitters in the past (Okay, yes so I totally said some snarky things! So there!), but now that I've picked out a few 'sensible' sock yarns and decided that I actually like the process of knitting a sock, I feel I'm ready to move beyond the basic stockinette sock and maybe try a little lace or maybe a smidge of cabling. Maybe.

Now, of course this means I need more supplies, specifically a book to read that has some great patterns and advice. Actually, what I want is THE definitive sock book to end all sock books so I won't ever have to buy another book on socks, that's what I really want. And so in my search I have narrowed it down to these two titles: Sensational Knitted Socks and Getting Started Knitting Socks. I think I may just have to go to my favorite LYS** and do a side by side comparason. Of course, Rayleen's advice was to take advantage of Knitpick's 40% off all books summer sale and buy both of them. But then again, she's also a knitter and probably a little biased.










*Well, first he said that we didn't have the money to buy either of them, and then he suggested a trip to a sanatorium and to lick his balls. But I get paid on Friday, so in my mind that cancels out his first bit of advice. Sadly, nothing will ever cancel out his ball-licking advice.

**Local Yarn Store.

Two Ways To Think About My 'Injury'

So I sort of have this 'injury', right? Or rather, a 'condition' that has begun bothering me. My left forearm has become sore, and when I stretch out my hand and bend it back, it's even more noticeable. I can deal with that, but the problem is how I acquired this condition. I'll be quite frank about it--I got it from KNITTING TOO MUCH.

Now here's the dilemma. Of course having an injury that is caused by something as benign and 'grandmotherly' as knitting could be seen as rather embarrassing and pussyish and maybe something I shouldn't talk about for fear of being ridiculed. Actually, that's the first thing that popped into my head once I realized what was going on with my arm. "God, I can't believe I'm such a pussy and got a repetitive stress injury from knitting, for Chrissakes! I should be ashamed of myself!"

After thinking about this for a while and confessing my problem to Rayleen and joking that maybe I should get myself a carpal tunnel brace I realized I could spin this an entirely different way. I could be loud and proud (We're here! We're KNITTERS! Get used to it! Oh yeah, there should be a knitter's pride parade!)of my knitting injury! I did some quick research and discovered that this is actually quite a common condition. I mean hell, in this article they even encourage you "step away from the needles" and go to the doctor so "pain pills can be prescribed"! However, their suggestion to "use fat needles" makes me want to kick the author in the shin!

I'm going to take it easy for the next day or two, which makes me sad because I have a really cute sock I just started, a second sock to finish, and two sweaters that need to be finished. They're not going to knit themselves!

Temporary Seal Point

SOMEONE thought it'd be a good idea to go digging in our bag of briquettes for the barbeque!But just look at that sweet face, how can we be mad at her??